So I tried the drinking thing a couple of weeks ago, right? Well, that experience has reoccurred a few times since then. I drink for a while over at Berkey's place & then I'll grab a bottle and carry it over here to drink while I'm shitting around online & getting ready to pass out. I'm not even drinking in front of Sparkles, guys. Hell, he's not even conscious when I'm drinking. Yet he still tells me today that 'he doesn't care if I do something like that but I can't do it here, I should respect him', yadda yadda. Well, ya know what? I fucking pay the bills here too, man. If I want my life dictated, I'll just move back in with my parents.

Mum's had to hear about my problems with living with Sparkles the past week or 2 & she's already suggested (many times) since then that I should put in an application for a one-bedroom apartment. The only problem is that I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to afford it. And in a way, I feel like I'd be giving up. It doesn't really bother me to ditch Sparkles (I'd give him plenty of notice, of course) but I'm not really sure I can at this point.

It's stupid that I don't even trust the person I'm sharing a home with. I feel retarded for ever agreeing to this whole setup. Zachary asked me many months ago if I might wanna get a place with him. I declined of course because I had already committed to this idea of moving in with Sparkles. I wish I'd ditched Sparkles then & moved in with Zachary. I'd be free to do my own thing then. And plus, Zachary & I get along a lot better anyway.

And stop saying 'you agreed to these rules when you moved in with him'. Seriously. Ya know what? It was irrelevant then. I didn't think I'd be drinking or anything while living here. And Tia, you can go off and show this to him if you'd like. I don't really care that much. I don't talk to him much anyway so he'd have to find out about this somehow.

That's another thing. Sparkles & Tia spat with each other constantly. I've heard him be called an ass more times in the past 2 months than I could even begin to count. If he's such an ass & so dictating towards what you want to do, then don't be with him. It's that simple. Do what you want to do. And stop avoiding conflict like a wimp. Life is full of conflict. You learn to deal with it & not care as much after a while.

Tia & I haven't really talked that much the past week or something. Why? Because every time we talk, she talks about Sparkles & how he told her she can't go over to Elizabeth's & Summer's to drink or whatever, blah blah. I pretty much told her I didn't want to hear it anymore. I'm tired of telling her to stand up for herself. If she wants Sparkles to walk all over here & tell her what she can and cannot do, then I hope she has fun with it. I just don't want to see/hear about it. And I know that's probably why we haven't talked as much. That's okay though. I'm not bothered.

I guess I fixed the slight inconvenience of Tia telling Sparkles about this. Hell knows she won't link him here after those last couple of paragraphs.

I'm done now. I'm gonna head off to sleep & hope that I feel better tomorrow than I have today.

past - future