Anyway, I had lots of fun yesterday. Well, until I actually started to leave, of course. Nicole & I met in Russellville around 10:15-ish and therefore got into Florence around 11. We spent the entire day driving around town, checking out apartments, and spending money we shouldn't spend. It was a nice day.

There's a small group of apartments overlooking downtown Florence that look really awesome so we took a look at them but the only one open at the moment is a one bedroom. The cool thing about it though is that it's made into three floors. On the bottom floor, you have the living room and kitchen. Then you have stairs leading to the second floor, which is one big room that could so be made into a bedroom. It has a gorgeous window overlooking downtown. It makes me happy. And then the third floor is the bathroom and the actual bedroom. It's nifty. Obviously not our first choice though because of the one bedroom.

We found some quite cheap apartments about a block behind UNA. They look new and quite nice from the outside but we were unable to take a look at them because the guy that manages them was out of town. The two bedroom, one bath apartments are $240 (I know, I know) and the two bedroom, two bath are $400. We were supposed to meet up with the manager/owner guy today to take a look at them but that's a subject I'll later touch on.

Eh, we ran into two of my friends from college. One of them actually lives right across the road from the previously mentioned apartments. The one living across the street hit it off wonderfully with Nicole and the other one probably would've but we didn't get to talk with him much as we were about to leave and head back home.

But yeah, I was gonna go back up there with Nicole today but Mum freaked out and told me that I had to spend the day with family and "I'm not moving for 3 or 4 more months anyway so why does it matter?". She needs to fucking let go. This is really starting to piss me off. It's like she's trying to drill in my head that I suddenly love my life here and will stay here for the rest of my days or something. Bah. I yelled at her on the phone in Florence last night and told her I didn't need her help with all this.

And then I get a text message from Nicole today asking "Do you think it'd be better if we got one-bedroom apartments next to each other, instead of one apartment together?". Sigh.

I'm afraid that I'm going to become the same antisocial person that I've always been. And I hate being insecure like this. The funny thing is that when I finally do open up and stuff, I make friends pretty easily. Yet I'm always afraid to take that first step in getting to know people. I guess I'm scared that they won't like me or they'll end up hurting me or something.

I'm not going to try to change Nicole's mind about getting her own apartment. I'll just be a social recluse. Maybe I'll move into that one bedroom apartment overlooking downtown. I could make it nice. Yeah.

Stepping out on your own doesn't seem as hard when you have someone stepping out with you. Now I just feel alone. Maybe I should run away from this entire situation and just go ahead and join Americorps.

And yes, I realize that this entry changes mood drastically throughout itself. About halfway through, I received a text message from Nicole, elaborating on the one bedroom thing. I feel kinda rejected..

past - future