I keep thinking that this time is going to be like last time we stopped talking - that I'll end up hearing from him again in a few months. Honestly, I hope that's not the case. Everyone already knows that I have a hard time letting things go. Usually, if I can clean myself completely of the situation, I can deal with it just fine. If he tries to contact me again, I'm afraid I'll end up caving and I'll be back in the awfully unhappy situation.

He's checked my diary more times the past three days than he has in the past three months. That amuses me.

So anyway, Alison, Suzy, and Lynn are all in Amsterdam right now. And I'm turning green with envy. I spoke with Lynn the other day before they left and I was telling her about Matt living in Manchester and how I'd like to visit him sometime within the next couple of years. We came to the conclusion that if I visited Manchester, I'd have to visit London as well. I apparently could also stay at her place instead of getting a hotel. Whoo! I think I'd just pack up and visit there right now but the lovely Travelocity informed me that tickets would cost $585. Ew.

Work's going okay I guess. They switched me over to a new team and the coach I have now is strict about ever being late. That poses a problem as Jess is late quite often. I'm predicting that I'm fired by him before I even get a chance to quit in a few months.

Other than the drama, things are going pretty well. I miss Mark a bit but I know that cutting him out of my life is for the best. I got really pissed off at Nicholas the other night though, when he said that he & Mark were still talking. I'm not really sure why either. I guess I just felt a little betrayed, ya know? I mean, he was the one telling Abby & I that we needed to get out of the shit that Mark had pulled us into. He was the one that asked Abby to message me, he was the one that told Abby about all the things to begin with, & he was the one that was telling me about the games Mark was playing. I don't understand why he would go back and talk to him after all that. Especially after hearing from Abby that Mark had abused her before. I'm probably being a retard about the situation but it just bothered me.

Anyway.. I'm really excited about moving to Florence soon (bet you haven't heard that before, eh?). Nicole and I are supposedly going up there soon to check on apartments. Of course, we say we're going to do that every time we go up there but we never do. Ugh.

I wish I had enough money to visit England right now. Actually, I wish I had enough money to visit anywhere right now. I told some of my friends in NJ the other night that I might visit them. Then I realized that I'm a broke-ass loser and cannot afford such a luxury as getting away from life. I think that the gods are against me and just want me to stay here in Alabama & be unhappy with life.

I think Joseph (little brother for those not "in the know") and I are heading up to Florence on Sunday to buy him a Xbox. It's funny that I'm too broke to fly anywhere to visit friends but I have plenty of money to throw around for game consoles. I'm cool like that. Anyway, I told him the other day that since my DVD player seems to be going on the fritz, I was just going to buy a PS2 so that I can satisfy my gaming craves and not bum off his PS2. He told me he'd give me his though if I bought him an Xbox. So there ya go. Jess pretty much has her own PS2 right now. Whoo! Let's hope Gamestop has some used Xbox's I can buy for him. I think I might buy a couple of games for the PS2 while I'm up there as well. Joseph mostly just has racing games and that's just not my thing. I strive to be the big dork that plays games like Kingdom Hearts. I love me some Kingdom Hearts.

Yeah, so I've obviously ran out of things to say. I'm gonna head off to lunch now and hope there's something edible in the machines in the break room. So.. Hungry.. Bah.

past - future