This is my fifth update in four days. My entry from earlier today can be found here but just so you know, it's nothing special. ..And it might possibly end up making someone feel bad but that's NOT my intention. I was just rambling as usual. Don't put too much thought into what I write here. Please.

So a bit over a week ago, Tia ordered me some 8-gauge horseshoe earrings and plugs from Ebay. Wendesday night, when she came over, she brought them with her and shoved them through my 12 gauge hole. Hurt like a bitch. I think I might just have to end up taking them out because they're still hurting and last time I stretched my ears, they were healed by this time. They look quite cool though so I'm basically waiting to take them out until my ears get awful, pus-like infections. Ya know, just so I can be sure they're not going to heal.

..I'm so gross. And I'm obviously kidding. Geez. Don't take things so seriously.

So, anyway, have I ever expressed my dislike for the fourth of July? I've just never really gotten that into it, I suppose. I dearly love fireworks though. I think that's my pyromaniac side talking. I think I've always hated it because I've never really been able to spend it with anyone besides family. Does that make me sound like a loser?

This year only further deepens my dislike for this holiday, considering my love is over 3000 miles away in Alaska. I hope he's at least enjoying himself though.

So no one actually knows this, not even Jim, but I'm afraid that he's going to get drunk again this week when he's in Skagway. See, he used to get drunk with all his Skagway friends and has since then, quit doing so (Or to my knowledge, at least). When he told me he wasn't going to get drunk anymore, I was secretly thrilled. Okay, well, maybe he picked up on the fact that I was thrilled. Just a bit. Regardless, I'm afraid he's going to do so again this week and might regret it. The fact that this is the fourth of July only makes the odds of his drinking even more likely. And considering the scenario that made him decide to stop with the drunkenness in the first place, I think I have grounds to be quite worried and/or afraid about whether or not something like that will happen again.

On a sidenote, I miss him so fucking much. I've managed to not cry from loneliness or whatever since he left SLC though. I think I'm doing pretty damn good. Everyone congratulate me on NOT being a whiney, weeping baby. Hopefully I can continue to hold out on the tears. Ya know, since I probably won't really be able to talk to him much until he's back in Utah again.

He's online right now (And has been) but he's not answering my messages. He's more than likely still getting caught up in 4th-of-July festivities, as it's only a quarter until 10 there. I hope he gets un-busy soon. I really, really want to talk with him. I miss hearing his voice.

I really have it bad, don't I? :)

past - future