Sure, things go great for a short while but it all comes crashing down in the end.. Sometimes before things even seem to settle down from the previous fall. And then I'm left crying again and trying to pick up the pieces.

Scott emailed me last night. He told me something major had happened and he won't be online for a long while. He said he'd be back some day but he doesn't know when that day will come. He didn't have time to explain it then and he said he shouldn't even be online sending the email to me.

I know what it is. I know why he left this time. He left for the same reason that he left the other times.

Kalaroth is back. Know how I know? Well, first of all, Kalaroth has always been the reason for his other departures, so why should now be any different? And secondly, he signed the email Kalaroth B. Xaelius. How much more obvious can you get??

He lied to me. He said even though the change wasn't really going that smoothly, he knew he was strong enough to go through with it.

He told me he loved me.

He told me I was the one.

He lied.

He said if I still even want to talk to him, he'd email later and explain the departure. I want to email him but I know I'll just end up yelling and crying and saying alot of things I'll regret later. I probably won't email him at all. Or maybe I'll just wait a few days (or a week even) till I'm more calmed down and less hurt about the deal and email him then.

I'm promising myself that I'll be the mature person I know I can be. I won't resort to calling him awful names and/or trying to hurt him. I won't resort to begging and/or taking him on a guilt-trip.

"Sorry Jess, but friends is how we are going to have to stay, it's really the only choice left."

And so ends another dreaded, overrated relationship in my life.

past - future