Things are alot better now. :) I'm going to attempt to go into exactly why things are so great right now.. Not sure I'll be able to explain the past year all into one entry though.

Kalaroth's real name is, in fact, Scott. He never liked that name though so he always went by Kalaroth to most everyone. I met him in July of last year and he introduced himself as Scott (instead of Kalaroth..I don't even know why and I'm pretty sure he doesn't either). That night, we talked for hours. It was so great. *happy sigh*

So, anyway, back to my story, Kalaroth was really dark and lustful and didn't really care much about anyone. And for you that don't know me personally, yeah, that's NOT me at all. So I could never be with Kalaroth.

The night after I made the previous "suicide note" entry, I emailed it to him and told him that I considered doing exactly what was stated in that letter. Inside, I knew I couldn't though. I knew the boy I loved was still inside and I couldn't just leave him. Well, he wasn't online for a few days after that. And when he came back, he told me that Kalaroth had basically died.

He said that he had reached the end and after all those years, when he got there, he realized he didn't want any of it anymore. He walked away completely. He's just Scott again. He said the letter that I'd emailed him had helped him change his mind and make him realize what he really wants. :)

Things are great between us now. I think things between him and I could end up lasting a long, long time. I'm so happy. :)

"It seems to ease my mind to know that you've brought meaning to my life." - 'Devour' by Disturbed

past - future