It's like one of those roller coasters that are entirely in the dark. You never know what the fuck is coming up next. Some nights, things between you and I will be absolutely wonderful and I'll end up floating to my bed and dreaming the sweetest dreams. And then, the other nights, we'll discuss how you're unable to be with me. Or how we have to keep distances from each other or we'll both get hurt again. Or that there can't be an 'us' because we're too different.

Tonite was the worst though. You're starting to release what you've hidden from everyone since you've known it was there. And you're realizing you're more powerful than you think. You can't feel anymore and you have no sense of human emotion.

I've heard that so many times. I've heard it from more guys than just you. After a while, you almost come to expect it, ya know?

I love you so much. I hope you know I mean that.

Unfortunately, I can't keep putting myself through this time and time again. It's killing me. It's been killing me for a while. My only option is to go away and leave you to be for a while.. Maybe even forever.

I don't know why I'm telling you this. I know that if it's really you and you're sure of yourself this time, then this is all just pointless and you're not even going to give a fuck. But if by some weird chance this is just 'it' talking again, then I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I can't stick around and have a few more 'floating' days with you again. I'm sorry that I can't be here to cheer you up. I'm sorry I can't sit here with you again and plan what we'll do in Florence sometime this summer. I'm sorry I can't just be me and forgive and forget again.

I'm sorry for all the pain I've ever caused you and I'm sorry I ever let us get close. I probably should've ran away a long time ago. Hell knows it would have saved alot of heartache and pain.

Most of all, I'm sorry for ever bringing myself into your life. Forgive me. Maybe I'll come back to you soon.

past - future