Well, the nite before that, I had been a little down and a certain guy friend had really cheered me up and everything. So he was on my mind all day while I was at the lake. After I told him all about my day and we chatted for a while, I got offline to go to bed (yeah, I know this seems like it's not going anywhere..just bear with me).

That night, I dreamt of him. I dreamt we were at the waterfall I had seen earlier that day and we were sitting on a rock talking. And then, all of a sudden, he leaned over and kissed me.

Now this guy is nothing but a friend. And though I told him about this dream expecting him to freak out and not wanna be as close to me, he was completely okay with it. Now here's the part I'm actually making a diary entry for..

I think I like him. I don't know. All I know is that ever since I had that dream, I've been thinking about him alot. He's always lurking somewhere in the back of my mind. And I want those thoughts to go away. I don't want to like him. Mainly because I know he doesn't like me. That much is completely obvious and I feel like a fool for liking him. Every time we talk I want to tell him how I wish he were here and how much I miss him. But I can't.

He's always hugging me and kissing me and such but I never really return any of it (except for hugs) because, for some stupid reason, I think he'll be freaked out about it (but why would he really? he gives me all that affection as a friend so my returning it would only be thought of by him as a friendly gesture).

It'd be nice to kind of be more than friends with him. I know that will never happen though. He's a frat boy, so he's probably popular with the girls. I'm not pretty enough for him. He could do so much better than me. And he is and will do better. Whoever he ends up with is a very lucky girl. Maybe she'll realize how wonderful he is, just like I have.

past - future