2004-01-07 - 2:40 a.m.

Mark told me he's having doubts. I don't know what to say or do. I can't seem to stop crying. How can he have doubts now after all we've been through? We had a little arguement earlier and that tiny little fight causes him to start having doubts. And he said he'd never had any doubts. Not even when he left me over a year ago. Why now? Over something so small? :( I'm crying again. I wish I could just fix this with the snap of a finger. I wish things were that easy. I can't do anything though. All I can do is sit quietly and let him sort through things himself. And I feel like I have absolutely no control over the verdict. I have this fear that he's going to decide I'm not for him and then he's going to leave me and never come back. And I can't handle that. Even if I could, I don't want to have to handle it. I just want him to say 'Okay, no more doubts' and then for everything to go back to the way it has been.. Just like that. I feel broke. I'm alone and afraid and I can't stop crying.

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