I'm getting too close to a few people in my life & it's only causing pain.

I fear that I'm powerless to stop it.

I've briefly considered the idea of just escaping for the weekend & having some Jess-time but then I feel I'm obligated to do all these other things, ya know? I have to hang out with Berkey on Friday, I have to go to Haleyville on Saturday night to see family..

Things were much easier when I was antisocial.

I told Berkey earlier that I think I might have to take a raincheck on our usual Friday plans (to get high & watch movies - thrilling, I know). I figure I'll end up hanging out with him anyway though.

As much as I sometimes want to get away from everything, I know that doing so would only lead to more thinking & in my case, that can only lead to more sadness.

It's a horribly vicious cycle.

I sometimes get to the point where I feel like I'm maybe teetering on the edge of some bottomless pit. If I say or do even the slightest thing wrong, I'm gonna fall. And fall. And fall.

Sometimes I wish I could escape myself.

past - future